Sunday, August 12, 2012

Fuck it

The Occultist is my blog about weird shit. And Daily Huff is my Tumblr, neglected for more than a year. But I'm gonna do this. Do them and keep them all up. BECAUSE I CONTAIN ALL THE MULTITUDES WALT WHITMAN LEFT BEHIND. Or something. I don't know. Shut up.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Breath (A #Story)

It was a blue Summer Saturday borne by the arches of rainbows through the sprinklers on the lawn. He ran with her kids, shouting, burning in the sun. He blew up a red, white and blue beach ball and they kicked it across the yard and through the cedars until the lightning bugs began their flickering orgy in the twilight. 

The beach ball ended up lodged under the deck of Meemaw's trailer. Night fell and the children went to sleep and he made love to her and it was forgotten. The next morning he left before sunrise to go home to his wife. She drank coffee. She cried a little. 

She only heard about the wreck on the news that night as she ate Marie Callender's and her youngest tried to learn a C chord on his guitar. No one called to tell her. No one knew about her.

Two months later she was helping Meemaw trim back the kudzu, both of them pouring sweat. She sat down to smoke a cigarette and drink the rest of her coke and saw the red, white and blue beach ball under the steps. 

Meemaw came around the north end of the trailer and stopped. Her heart was hard from her own hurts but it quaked. She watched her elder daughter on the steps and felt helpless. Her child was clutching that ridiculous beach ball to her breasts and weeping. Saying, over and over, "It's still got his breath in it. It's still got his breath."

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

You Guys, California Had an Earthquake

Wow, this never happens. It's weird, you'd think Twitter would've let us know.

Also, it's funny how I'd just published a post about The End of The World.


Illuminati 2012 End of the World Conspiracy Predictions - YouTube: ""

You guys. You. Guys. This video has 3.5 million views. It was uploaded a year ago. It's about the Illuminati and the End of the World. It has some cool sort of Enya meets Monks of Santo Domingo music. Clearly, we must take this seriously.

Watch and be afraid. LOL.

Bradley Cooper With Dreadlocks

Why, Bradley Cooper?

I am not attracted to men but I acknowledge Bradley Cooper is a very handsome gentleman.

However, Bradley Cooper in dreadlocks in the new movie Hit & Run is the worst thing I have ever seen. It is horrifying. He looks vaguely like a former friend of mine who was notorious among our group of friends for making terrible style choices that he thought were wondrous fair. My former friend's style choices often involved doing horrifying things to his hair.

What are you doing, Bradley bro? What are you doing? You make me sad, son.

Why I Like Adult Swim

I like [adult swim] because it is funny. I enjoy japery.

Blogging is awesome. These are the best blogs I have ever blogged.

Hells Yes!

Fuck Tumblr or Wordpress. I'm bringing Blogger back, bitches! And posting this shit to Google+ too! It's a REVOLUTION!*

*Mr. Huff never wrote in his blogger blog again.**
**Kidding. I hope.***
***Definitely gonna do this.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Steve Huff's parody blog parodying Steve Huff

In the end, that is the secret: just be a parody of yourself.

And all at once, I am at peace. Where personal blogging is concerned.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Aw, screw it.

I'm just gonna use blogger. Who gives a fuck about blogging anymore, anyway? Blogging is only writing. And I want to write.