Ok, it's still my personal blog...

That's why I'm making a fitness-related note, since I've blogged about that here off and on in the last several months.

I took a month off from running and added high intensity (HIIT) sets of various exercises to my other workout routines. Partly just to see how that would work as far as keeping up my aerobic ability. Turns out it worked great. Like insanely well. Last week, for instance, I broke the running vacation and did 3 miles, mostly slow-paced.

Then today, a full week later, I ran 4 miles--as if I'd been steadily running every day, with perhaps more ease.

There's apparently a whole debate between people with time to debate this stuff online about whether HIIT workouts (plyometric exercises, kettlebells, old-fashioned calisthenics) are superior to "steady-state" cardio like biking or running. I don't really care, as I like running and HIIT workouts and have proven to myself that one can easily contribute to my ability to do the other.

No real revelation to a fitness instructor or someone who's done this steadily all their life, I'm sure, but to someone like me, who more or less avoided exercise between age 28 or so and 43, it felt pretty good to make a plan and then a discovery entirely on my own.

That's the main thing about exercise, for me--as long as I work with the fact I'm easily bored and change things up on a regular basis, I continue enjoying what I do.

We now return you to other more interesting stuff.

A sample workout

After having a hip issue, bad cold and the winter-to-spring blahs for a week I returned to exercising regularly a couple of days ago (I only skipped 4 days or so while feeling shitty) and I think doing so actually helped clear up lingering crud.

Stranger still, I've begun, with little effort, to eat healthy food because I want to. I don't like "healthy food" in general. I like bad food. Food that gets you real fucking fat, real fast. That's how I made it up to near 300 pounds in the first place. But the other day I realized I was enjoying a salad with some Mediterranean dressing and sund-dried tomatoes and tuna. I actually love my habitual breakfast, which is Greek yogurt followed up with Irish oatmeal and sometimes some fruit. I've begun avoiding even more starchy and sugary food than I had before.

It's like I'm some healthier pod-person version of me (I even cleaned house... thoroughly. Creepy.).

Anyway, I realized today that I've kind of liked doing fitness-related blog posts--after not liking blogging for myself (as opposed to doing it as a job) for quite some time. So here's an easy one--the workout I did today.

Strength-wise I've begun targeting different parts of the body on different days. Today was mainly chest, arms and back:

• Weighted dips x 8--done wearing a backpack containing 30 lbs of weight plates.
• Kettlebell swings x 12--with my 53 lb (24 kg) kettlebell.
• Weighted push-ups x 10--with the same 30 lb backpack.
• Swings again x 12.
• Kettlebell rows x 8, with the 53 lb bell.
• Repeat same number of swings.
• Dumbbell curls--35 lbs, 12/10/8/6/6

I did the circuit above three times, then followed it up with:

• Regular (unweighted) dips, 12/10/8 (I use The Rack to do dips. It looks like an old person's walker on steroids and is perfect for that exercise).
• Unweighted push-ups, 2 x 15. 

After all that, I ran a middle-pace mile, walked a mile, ran a slower-paced mile, ended with a final mile at a leisurely pace. So I ran two miles and walked two.

Tomorrow I work on shoulders, core and legs.

I don't recommend anyone copy my workouts because I do and don't know what I'm doing. I basically see what it feels like my body needs and go from there. I'll also work around problems as needed. My legs always need work, strength-wise, but at the same time, some problems I've had since birth require me to approach all weighted leg work with even more caution and care than I do anything targeting the back, where I've had some strain off and on through the years. 

If there's anything I think someone could take from my workouts, if I list more, it's that variety is the spice, as the cliche goes. The main problem I've always had with exercise is the fact I'm both easily bored and have some sort of stupid superman complex, prone to pushing myself that step too damned far, especially where strength is concerned.

As I recently discovered that the paternal line in my family carries a higher percentage of Neanderthal DNA than 98% of the human population, I'm gonna blame my inner caveman and leave it at that. 

Being Human is Stupid

As a kid, my favorite superhero was Superman. As I grew older and learned that the positive side of my genetic makeup (there is one!) included a "strong build" and ease adding muscle, I had all that Superman imagery in my head as I tried to develop my body. I'd never leap tall buildings or stop bullets or be able to see through clothing--stuff teen boys would really, really like to do--but even a semi-sane understanding of my all-too-human physical limits didn't stop me from feeling disappointed when I was too damned pooped to pop.

After getting fat and going through a series of career choices that usually had me parked on my ass in front of some kind of screen before returning to exercise again I was initially patient with myself. I recognized, in a ruthless way, that I was starting from less than zero. If I pushed myself too hard, too soon, I would either quit or die of a massive cardiac event, collapsing in a pile of sweaty drool by the road somewhere. 

Once I was below 200 pounds and my waist between 31 and 32 inches, I started pushing it. The kid inside, who stood in line to see the first Christopher Reeve Superman and did the same with all the sequels (before the wretched fourth film destroyed all that was good in cinema) stirred to life and began to have a voice in what I was doing. That's when I began adding kettlebells to my workouts, in addition to more bodyweight exercise and dumbbell work.

Sometimes, that inner wannabe superhero (he alternates days with Sgt. Hammerhead Lockjaw when it comes to 'get Steve to brutalize himself' duty) is a good thing. Sometimes, he is not my friend. He's an asshole. 

I am too cynical to be a rah-rah "YOU CAN DO IT" sort of guy about much of anything, so I can only give what church folks down south call "witness" about one positive benefit from regular exercise. At this point it's clear to me that my immune system is in much better shape than it was 2 or 3 years ago. I still get sick, but less often. When I do get sick, I frequently shrug it off some 3 to 5 days earlier than I once did. 

Last weekend, I was feeling a little low. On Saturday I ran 2 miles then walked 2. Saturday evening I'd planned on a kettlebell workout but I wasn't up to it. My internal superhero wannabe and Sgt. Hammerhead Lockjaw gave each other sad looks and shrugged, but I thought, "screw you guys" and drank a shot of vodka. At first I wondered if I had just overdone it earlier in the week, but by Sunday it was clear I had some kind of low-grade virus, with a mild fever and a little congestion.

I had all these plans, man. I was going to start upping my running mileage. Sure, I live in the snowiest goddamned city in the damned country (seriously) and on March 26 it's still mid-winter cold out with snow piled everywhere, but spring has to come sometime so I want to hit the nice spring days to come piling on the miles. I was also going to do more two-a-day workouts, where I did cardio in the morning and strength at night. I'm on more than one mission, here, see. Sure, I want to be a fit old dude, hopefully tack on a few years I might not have had otherwise, but I also recently decided that now I'm in a stable place weight-wise and at a certain level of fitness, I want to see how far I can go. I will likely write about that another time, but what I'm getting at is HAVING A DAMNED COLD WAS GOING TO RUIN EVERYTHING. 

That's what I was hearing in my head, anyway.

Inwardly, I sighed, nodded and stayed on the damned couch drinking fluids and resting. I did what you're supposed to do. 

Because I'm 45, not 15. When I was 15 and doing a show at a community theater on the Vanderbilt campus, this kid named Bobby and I would climb the roof over the green room and jump off and roll in the grass. It was probably a ten foot drop. I would break all over the place if I did that now, regardless of how much I've improved my overall level of fitness, because delusional as I can be, I am fully aware that even if I'm fitter and stronger at 45 than I was at 15, I damn sure am less elastic, less "springy." 

And there's not a damn thing wrong with occasionally recognizing, once you reach this age, that it's okay take a breather, sometimes. Not only am I the opposite of superhuman, I spent most of my 30s being somewhere between 90 and 110 pounds overweight. I don't know all the long-term consequences of that period of sedentary, overweight living but I dread them and don't want to rush them now that I've done something about the issue by being idiotically gung-ho. 

Today I woke feeling better. I've run 2 miles at a decent pace and I followed that up with 8 minutes of high-intensity kettlebells. Tonight I may do a slower-paced, more thorough workout. I might do two workouts again tomorrow, just to see if I can. After making it a point to rest for two solid days, I've got some sniffles but otherwise fine. 

I'll keep it up, too, until my body reminds me sometimes I have to stop and admit my limits. At this age, I sometimes simply don't have a choice. 

All things being equal, I still think being a human is stupid. But it's all we've got. 

When To Work Out (Video! Not of Me, Though. Psych.)

I've learned a lot about exercise in the last couple of years. I didn't return to it completely naive, mind you--I was fit throughout my teens and lost a bit of weight again in my late 20s. But when you get as fat as I was then decide to do something about it, you kind of have to admit you aren't an expert and start from scratch.

Luckily, the Internet is here now and it wants to help. Actually, the Internet mostly wants to kill you with the vast stretches of stupid related to diet and exercise, but if you are patient and persistent, you will find there are fine threads of smart and healthy to pull out of the welter of stupid. How do you discern the smart and healthy from the stupid? That's for another post, I guess. I know one thing--don't trust anyone who promises a quick fix or magic trick. In my head I'm thinking, well, DUH, but honestly, a ton of people struggle mightily with weight issues and they often feel even more desperate than I was, and over a smaller amount of fat. They will be ready to grab for idiocy and quackery, for anything that gives them hope to look perfect now and hit the beach in an Elysian state of mind in your new perfect beach body tomorrow. Bless their hearts, as mama might say.

I digress. Anyway, one thing I fret about and have fretted about since I began doing this regularly was when the hell to do it. So far, advice, writing and thinking about when you should exercise is all over the place. Weightlifters may go by a Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedule, with cardio on Tuesday and Thursday. Runners might do 5 to 6 runs a week, starting with low mileage and/or hill runs then working up to long, 10+ mile training runs on the weekends. Kettlebell devotees (if I had to slot myself, something I hate to do in general, I'd say I'm all about running and kettlebells--a hybrid, I guess), citing the combined cardio and strength benefits of slinging cannonballs with handles around, sometimes recommend 3 sessions a week, tops. Insane people with nothing better to do than flex seem to go to sleep cradling dumbbells and sucking on a protein shake/steroid drip. It's crazy.

In general, I've found more is better and for me, because I am so easily bored, variety is the spice.

At the moment I work out in some way 4 to 5 days a week, six if I'm feeling really good. I listen to my body. And the good and bad thing about my 45-year-old body compared to, say, my 18-year-old body, is my middle-aged self is totally ready to let me know when to not be an idiot and just chill. I recently tried to do two workouts a day for 4 days in a row. I ran in the mornings and then did kettlebells/weights/bodyweight exercises each night. This was good because it minimized the time-suck of one long workout session, a problem familiar to anyone who regularly runs long distances, but it was bad because by day 5 my body seemed to say "OMG WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ARE YOU INSANE?"

That said, I ended up with noticeable results and felt a bit like I'd jumped off a brief plateau, knocking off a little winter holiday weight and adding a touch of muscle in the process. However, the week after I tried the two-a-days, I notched it back a little just to make sure my heart didn't ultimately say, "yeah, dude, I give. Screw you."

(Note: I have a very mild heart murmur that I was told would never be an issue and it mostly hasn't been, but I do have to stop and remind myself I have it sometimes, just for a reality check.)

If you started reading this thinking I'd answer the question as to when, I'm sorry, I only know what's worked for me, and the short answer is as much as is practically possible.

What's more important, I guess, is simply that I do it. Another benefit to being a little older (I frequently think of how I approached exercise as a teen and compare it to now) is seeing that sometimes it's just a matter of getting it done. The speed with which I run doesn't matter so much as the fact that I ran. Where I live now we get a lot of snow. It can be dangerous to run in the snow and ice, so if I want to get out I choose to take long walks instead. A macho shithead in my brain sometimes starts yelling, "A WALK BRO? WALKING IS WEAK BRO. YOU ARE WEAK," but he eventually wears out and starts enjoying whatever music I have playing on iTunes at the time.

So I guess if you're a dude and you have an inner meathead slash drill sergeant like me, you have to realize that he's not always working in your best interests, and sometimes you just have to DO something, even if it's a little something, and pacify the beast with some chill tunes. (Christopher Cross singing "Sailing" often seems to do that for my personal internal Sgt. Hammerhead Lockjaw.)

Another thing married parent types have to confront is when you do your thing during the day. It's even harder if you have a job. Here I have to default again to something that seems simple and tried and true. Get it in when you can get it in, and above all be patient with yourself.

That's mostly what I've learned. This takes time. Listen to what the body says, give it time. Even if you go 5 straight days over Christmas without doing a damn thing but hammer curling mass amounts of Honeybaked ham into your face, find a point to start over again. I am certain of one thing--I've been able to keep it up and maintain this lifestyle change ("maintain" may be the most important word in this whole stupid post) simply by accepting the fact that I regularly fall off the wagon (go off the reservation, go rogue, whatever) and I have to sometimes mentally treat the whole endeavor as if I'm starting over again. Failure is a renewable resource, but luckily it also lets you act as if you've got a bottomless supply of do-overs. Accept all of it, and just do something.

Below is Fitness Blender's HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) kettlebell workout. The kettlebell part is just 16 minutes, but it is a goddamned beast. I did it yesterday with a 45-lb kettlebell for the clean & press and the figure-8 curls and a 53-lb kettlebell for the swings. It was all I needed for the day. I can't recommend Fitness Blender enough. The workouts are sensible, Daniel and Kelly are low-key and likable and above all their routines work.