When To Work Out (Video! Not of Me, Though. Psych.)

I've learned a lot about exercise in the last couple of years. I didn't return to it completely naive, mind you--I was fit throughout my teens and lost a bit of weight again in my late 20s. But when you get as fat as I was then decide to do something about it, you kind of have to admit you aren't an expert and start from scratch.

Luckily, the Internet is here now and it wants to help. Actually, the Internet mostly wants to kill you with the vast stretches of stupid related to diet and exercise, but if you are patient and persistent, you will find there are fine threads of smart and healthy to pull out of the welter of stupid. How do you discern the smart and healthy from the stupid? That's for another post, I guess. I know one thing--don't trust anyone who promises a quick fix or magic trick. In my head I'm thinking, well, DUH, but honestly, a ton of people struggle mightily with weight issues and they often feel even more desperate than I was, and over a smaller amount of fat. They will be ready to grab for idiocy and quackery, for anything that gives them hope to look perfect now and hit the beach in an Elysian state of mind in your new perfect beach body tomorrow. Bless their hearts, as mama might say.

I digress. Anyway, one thing I fret about and have fretted about since I began doing this regularly was when the hell to do it. So far, advice, writing and thinking about when you should exercise is all over the place. Weightlifters may go by a Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedule, with cardio on Tuesday and Thursday. Runners might do 5 to 6 runs a week, starting with low mileage and/or hill runs then working up to long, 10+ mile training runs on the weekends. Kettlebell devotees (if I had to slot myself, something I hate to do in general, I'd say I'm all about running and kettlebells--a hybrid, I guess), citing the combined cardio and strength benefits of slinging cannonballs with handles around, sometimes recommend 3 sessions a week, tops. Insane people with nothing better to do than flex seem to go to sleep cradling dumbbells and sucking on a protein shake/steroid drip. It's crazy.

In general, I've found more is better and for me, because I am so easily bored, variety is the spice.

At the moment I work out in some way 4 to 5 days a week, six if I'm feeling really good. I listen to my body. And the good and bad thing about my 45-year-old body compared to, say, my 18-year-old body, is my middle-aged self is totally ready to let me know when to not be an idiot and just chill. I recently tried to do two workouts a day for 4 days in a row. I ran in the mornings and then did kettlebells/weights/bodyweight exercises each night. This was good because it minimized the time-suck of one long workout session, a problem familiar to anyone who regularly runs long distances, but it was bad because by day 5 my body seemed to say "OMG WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ARE YOU INSANE?"

That said, I ended up with noticeable results and felt a bit like I'd jumped off a brief plateau, knocking off a little winter holiday weight and adding a touch of muscle in the process. However, the week after I tried the two-a-days, I notched it back a little just to make sure my heart didn't ultimately say, "yeah, dude, I give. Screw you."

(Note: I have a very mild heart murmur that I was told would never be an issue and it mostly hasn't been, but I do have to stop and remind myself I have it sometimes, just for a reality check.)

If you started reading this thinking I'd answer the question as to when, I'm sorry, I only know what's worked for me, and the short answer is as much as is practically possible.

What's more important, I guess, is simply that I do it. Another benefit to being a little older (I frequently think of how I approached exercise as a teen and compare it to now) is seeing that sometimes it's just a matter of getting it done. The speed with which I run doesn't matter so much as the fact that I ran. Where I live now we get a lot of snow. It can be dangerous to run in the snow and ice, so if I want to get out I choose to take long walks instead. A macho shithead in my brain sometimes starts yelling, "A WALK BRO? WALKING IS WEAK BRO. YOU ARE WEAK," but he eventually wears out and starts enjoying whatever music I have playing on iTunes at the time.

So I guess if you're a dude and you have an inner meathead slash drill sergeant like me, you have to realize that he's not always working in your best interests, and sometimes you just have to DO something, even if it's a little something, and pacify the beast with some chill tunes. (Christopher Cross singing "Sailing" often seems to do that for my personal internal Sgt. Hammerhead Lockjaw.)

Another thing married parent types have to confront is when you do your thing during the day. It's even harder if you have a job. Here I have to default again to something that seems simple and tried and true. Get it in when you can get it in, and above all be patient with yourself.

That's mostly what I've learned. This takes time. Listen to what the body says, give it time. Even if you go 5 straight days over Christmas without doing a damn thing but hammer curling mass amounts of Honeybaked ham into your face, find a point to start over again. I am certain of one thing--I've been able to keep it up and maintain this lifestyle change ("maintain" may be the most important word in this whole stupid post) simply by accepting the fact that I regularly fall off the wagon (go off the reservation, go rogue, whatever) and I have to sometimes mentally treat the whole endeavor as if I'm starting over again. Failure is a renewable resource, but luckily it also lets you act as if you've got a bottomless supply of do-overs. Accept all of it, and just do something.

Below is Fitness Blender's HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) kettlebell workout. The kettlebell part is just 16 minutes, but it is a goddamned beast. I did it yesterday with a 45-lb kettlebell for the clean & press and the figure-8 curls and a 53-lb kettlebell for the swings. It was all I needed for the day. I can't recommend Fitness Blender enough. The workouts are sensible, Daniel and Kelly are low-key and likable and above all their routines work.