One of My Horrible Workouts You Should Not Do

Above: my little-known twin brother Tito and I doing kettlebell work.

My posts about diet and exercise have felt irritatingly non-specific at times so I figured I'd change things up and give just one example of what I do.

Caveat: if you are just starting up, you should not copy this workout. I started out using 17-20 pound kettlebells over a year ago and I've worked up to this. Hell, you shouldn't copy it anyway--while everything I do for myself is backed by what may be a surprising amount of research (I'm actually a little embarrassed by the amount of time I devote to this sometimes), I'm way more qualified to teach classical voice or give an overview of the history of violent crime than I am to try and teach a reader about fitness. I do think taking the weight off and maintaining is an accomplishment, but I am always, on some level, making this up as I go along. These posts are part of a process, and I do them hoping they are useful somehow. Also to have a record for myself, one I will probably view with grim irony when I am old and feeble.

I'll explain some of these exercises as I go along then at the bottom of the post you can watch the Fitness Blender routine upon which this is based. I like Fitness Blender because their workouts make you sweat, they appear well-done, the videos are professional and Daniel and Kelli don't seem like insane, humorless meatheads (I'll get around to my dumb rant about the bizarre humorlessness of fitness "personalities" eventually).

This is the workout I did today. It is different from the one I did yesterday. I may never precisely repeat it, it depends.

• Note--I typically start with something to elevate my heart rate. Yesterday I did 30 seconds of burpees twice with 15 second breaks between, then the same with mountain climbers. Today I wanted to gauge how strong I felt, so instead of the more aerobically active stuff I started with...
• 3 Turkish Get-ups, left and right side, with a 53 pound (24 kg) kettlebell. The video below is of kettlebell expert Steve Cotter, who is a master of correct kettlebell form, teaching TGUs. I maintain this is one of the most deceptive exercises ever, because it doesn't look all that hard.  It is, though. Benefit--all over body strength and coordination. I only did 3 on each side today because I've only just worked up to 53 lbs from 45. And Turkish Get-ups are just tough.  
• I went from the TGUs into 10 "Around the worlds" on each side. That's what the Fitness Blender folks call them (you'll see in the video at the end of the post) but I've found terminology in kettlebell usage (as well as the history of kettlebell use, another story entirely) can be confusing and murky. Whatever the case, it's just passing the kb hand-to-hand around your body. 
• I went with no pause into kettlebell figure 8s. You pass the 'bell in a figure 8 pattern, hand-to-hand, through and around your lower legs. I did 10, each side. Figure 8s work core strength and require attention to keeping your back straight. With a heavy kettlebell you'll really feel these. Do them with light weights at first because it's easy to get fumble-handed and bonk your shin. I've had me some shin-bonks.
• Still with the 53 lb kb, I did 20 swings. The swing is one of the most fundamental kettlebell exercises and it's vital that it's done right. I have developed muscle tone in places I forgot I had muscles over the last year almost from swings alone. I suggest before you ever try these in particular maybe searching kettlebell swing form on Youtube, as it can be an easy exercise to get wrong.
• Next I did a variation on the clean you'll see in the Fitness Blender Beginner Kettlebell video below, the clean and press, with 53 lbs. I did a different exercise with kbs yesterday that worked the hell out of my shoulders so I only did 6 cleans and presses. The clean and press is one of the most fundamental kb exercises and you can get a hell of a workout just doing a bunch of them alone. 
• I followed this up with 10 kettlebell halos, alternating right and left. I won't go in depth about haloes, as I think they're the kind of exercise some people may want to skip for fear of busting their skull. I've never done that but it's definitely an exercise to practice with a very low weight if you even give it a shot. Like several kettlebell exercises, halos are a weird combo of funny and scary to watch, but they're great for the core muscles, shoulder mobility and arm and shoulder strength. You have to watch my favorite kettlebell sage/wizard/cult leader ZenKahuna demonstrate a halo variation here. (I love this dude, there's no one like him doing fitness videos on Youtube. But do the halo Kelli does below, not Zenkahuna's variation. If you do this.)
• After halos I did 15 straight-leg deadlifts with the 53 lb bell. Straight-leg deadlifts are awesome for your hamstrings. 
• Next I did 10 squats with two 45 lb kettlebells (broken up into two sets of 5 reps). Squat form is almost the same as regular weightlifting squats but the weight is in a different place. I've always been annoyed with my lack of leg development and these are definitely helping there. Running had bulked up my calves, but these alone are finally giving me quads (big chests and wide shoulders and chicken legs run in my family). Good basic demo of squats with one kb here. (Squats may be one of the most beneficial exercises ever, depending on who you ask.)
• The Fitness Blender video demonstrates an exercise combining squats and curls, but here I split them and do curls separately with two 40 lb dumbbells. You can do curls just fine with kettlebells but I'm working up to doing those with my 45 lb kbs, still. My inner Sgt. Hammerhead Lockjaw isn't happy about that but I'd rather not blow my bicep out like deflated tire, thanks.
• And I closed, as Kelli does in the video below, with 8 bent over rows on each side, using the 53 lb kettlebell.
• Then I did it all again. The Fitness Blender routine actually repeats 3 times but once you're using heavy weights you have to start using exercise routines like that as templates, with the goal of perhaps matching the routine on the video, eventually. 
• In addition to this work I've been practicing something called "greasing the groove" with pull-ups. After I'd lost plenty of weight and been working out enough to feel decently strong, I discovered that pull-ups, which had been a good exercise for me as a teen, were my worst thing, ever. I could do 30 push-ups but only 1 pull-up. So I set about changing that. When you tackle a weak exercise with "greasing the groove" (the name of the technique does make my inner 13-year-old snicker) you are basically practicing it at every odd moment possible. So far I've gone from 2 pull-ups up to 5 with good form, 6 with not-so-good form. My goal is 15. It'll be a while. 

Okay, so after all that rambling, I recommend watching the original kettlebell routine upon which I modeled this, if you're a kettlebell user. I'm happy with them and I like running still but I'm finding that while I do have these favorites, I'm not one of those people who latches onto a single approach to getting in shape and then obsessively works that as if I've found received wisdom from musclehead heaven. I also have basic workout structures that stay the same but will add and subtract as my body allows. Some days I just don't have the juice. 

My favorite thing about kettlebells isn't that they're good cardio and strength combined, though, it's that you can get a great workout without leaving the house. If you ever want to be the most ripped shut-in around, look into them.