Normally I torture my Twitter followers with these observations but my non-stop ragging on Tumblr (down for half a day and then some) has sort of poisoned the well there.
- I'm pretty sure I will never forgive the Today Show for introducing me to the phrase "aerosolized fecal matter." Never.
- My desire to slap Dan Brown is not writerly jealousy at all. It has a lot more to do with his haircut.
- Is there a reason Today followed a segment about "aerosolized fecal matter" with an interview with Dan Brown?
- OK, I did make this observation on Twitter but it bears repeating: any news producer out there thinking about pitching a new story on "INVISIBLE GERMS IN YOUR BATHROOM/KITCHEN/ANUS"--please, DON'T. Take a refreshing nap under a steamroller instead.
- Seriously, do they have "HOW TO PITCH INVISIBLE GERM STORIES" class in broadcast school or something?
- I really do enjoy the outside segments on Today, in part because it's a reminder we Americans are some fat sumbitches. I don't feel so bad, then.
- Yeah, actually, I do feel bad.
- I've checked, and I still don't forgive the Today Show for the phrase, "aerosolized fecal matter."
- Dear Today Show news segment writer(s): is there such a thing as a "non-violent" jihad? Seems like the phrase "violent jihad" is essentially redundant.
- Wait, I answered my question. I'm on a non-violent jihad against stupid TV. So there's that.
- Dear Today Show news segment writer(s): is there such a thing as a "non-violent" jihad? Seems like the phrase "violent jihad" is essentially redundant.
- Wait, I answered my question. I'm on a non-violent jihad against stupid TV. So there's that.
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Don't be a jackass.